Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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