I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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