Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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