So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
