The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize