K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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