the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
