yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
