I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
dude i'm inner monologue high
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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