Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm always down for nudity.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
