I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
