party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize