No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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