Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize