wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
as a side note pls kill me
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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