just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
