just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I am naked and annoyed.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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