I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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