I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
