you win again, gameday.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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