Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
