I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Send help, water and tortillas.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize