She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
