How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
