It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
