Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The power of my boobs compel you
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
