If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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