Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I touched a dick in church today
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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