You're completely useless in the revolution.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
