Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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