call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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