Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
