It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Randomize
