So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
