yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
