please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
