I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
