I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
