Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
