I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
