my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
