This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
