the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Randomize
