I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
