i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
