You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
