let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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