The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
