o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
