the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
