therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
