Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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