I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
vagina is talking i cant
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
