You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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