But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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