In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize