the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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