i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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