did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
